In the Baha'i faith, the teachings say that backbiting extinguishes the soul. We are all made from the same stock, so we are all one as humans, and that oneness connects us to all humans, not just the ones we prefer. Every miserable soul is our brother or sister, and we must never say anything to deliberately hurt another person.
Understanding a person's underlying factors can help us form a response. Here are some reasons why people and children act the way they do, paraphrased from Becky Kennedy's book, Good Inside.
Whiners feel powerless. They don't think they can cope, and they need to cry.
Controllers worry that their needs won't be met. They believe they are unworthy of love and are afraid others will see them for who they really are. They respond aggressively when they don't feel in control.
Taunting competitors need to be seen and valued for who they really are.
Non-listeners feel their needs are unacknowledged.
Rebels need to feel powerful and confident.
Defiant people are reaching out for connection.
In truth, we all need to be seen for who we really are, to be listened to, and to be cared about. When we approach another human with the knowledge that they bear the image of God, as do we, it is possible to ask caring questions and respond with empathy rather than judgement.
For example, instead of reacting negatively to a whiner, one might offer a supportive space for them to express their feelings. Understanding that controllers act out of a fear of being unloved, we can respond with reassurance and kindness, fostering an environment where they feel secure.
In recognizing the shared struggles and aspirations of humanity, it becomes apparent that every soul, even those perceived as miserable or challenging, deserves understanding and empathy. By understanding the motivations behind people's actions, we can approach others with a genuine desire to help rather than condemn.
By doing so, we contribute to the creation of a world where the inherent nobility in every individual is acknowledged and celebrated.
This post really resonates with me! The materialistic ruts of daily life really distract us from how essential the little gestures of compassion can be in our lives. And I've learned that if I stop practicing those gestures of compassion, I seem to loose myself in those ruts. So it's almost like practicing compassion is the daily antidote to succumbing to the dark feelings. You say it so beautifully: through compassion, "we contribute to the creation of a world where the inherent nobility in every individual is acknowledged and celebrated." In this sense, compassion is as much a benefit for the giver as it is the receiver.
As Baha'u'llah instructs us, "Possess a pure, kindly, and radiant heart..." This passage…